I am not sure how many people think about it at my age (44), but these days I find myself often daydreaming about where to retire to.

I remember during my first stay in Holland (1996-2001), how I was jokingly discussing with my Indonesian and Taiwanese girlfriends that we should set up a sort of “group home” when we are old, as being Asian women, we would probably outlive our Dutch partners. And old and far from home, we will certainly miss our Asian food, particularly rice.

During this second stay since 2007, however, it is no longer so much of a joke to me anymore. With the children going to a Dutch school and my husband’s age surpassing 50, we are more and more settled in Holland, which makes me think: what next?

Recently, I also became acquainted with many people who are settling in Holland.

There is, for example a group called Silvernet, which, with over 130 members, is an organization of elderly Japanese that help each other, and researches about Dutch and Japanese pension, and elderly care plans.

Masako, a friend and a Silvernet member, says that elderly Japanese people in Holland are very independent and are the sort of people who don’t need to rely on others that much because many of them came here to pursue their careers, either in business or the arts like music.

She cited the difference between ours and the Chinese community here, saying that while the Chinese have opted to build their own elderly home, many Silvernet members after investigations concluded that the Japanese here are too independent to live together.

At the same time, Holland, while small, is the type of country where cities and villages are quite dispersed, which makes it difficult for people to get around as they get old.

So Silvernet members set up a system whereby, by first listing the whereabouts of its fellow citizens, a network was worked out to call or sometimes visit the elderly who live in remote areas, often in elderly homes.

As it is a completely self-supported group, the frequency of the contact is marginal. But I can imagine such calls or visits give a huge feeling of security especially to the elderly whose families are aging in Japan.

Silvernet contributes to Japanese society by such means as free Dutch language support, charity events for the tsunami and organizing clubs like ikebana. To do this they know that they need help from the rest of the Japanese community.

But when a Japanese hairdresser I know offered to carry out a visit-and-haircut service to Silvernet members to help them, she was told to first become a member and pay a membership fee.

She told me that she then realized she was being arrogant to think that she would be helping the group.

“In a few decades, I will need them. But I didn’t realize that,” she said.

Now where should I retire to? Despite the potential help of Silvernet, I think I will not stay in Holland. The climate is too cold and the food a bit too bland.

During this cold, dark season, my hobby is to sit in my kotatsu and figure out the best town in Kyushu where there are many onsen within walking distance.

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